after lots of thinking, i finally came up with enough to make this into a post.

2009 was a pretty tough year for me.  i started the year off unemployed and lost my grandfather on the 15th of january.  it was one of the tougher losses i’ve suffered, as he was like a father to me.  the year went on, i got a job (and struggled there for the first couple of months), there were a few other bumps and bruises, then, essentially, my world kinda fell apart.

on september 6, during a labor day cook-out at my house, i got the worst phone call i’ve ever received.  it was from my roommate (and one of my closest friends), emily, who asked me to sit down.  never in a million years did i expect her to say what she said:

“erik’s dead.”

erik was one of our best friends.  we met him in college; he was our best friend’s boyfriend’s roommate (take a second to think about the connection).  through college, we all got really close, joined the same business fraternity, spent most of our free time together, celebrated birthdays (and unbirthdays) together, ate together, drank together (erik was responsible for one of my drunkest nights of college, i still owe him a few bucks for the booze he bought me), slept together (not all of us – just emily and nate… and don’t worry, they’re married now), travelled together (we went to atlanta twice for a conference and had the time of our lives)… you name it, we did it and had a blast.

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i collapsed, couldn’t speak.  as soon as i could muster up the ability to talk, “oh my god” just kept coming out.  i couldn’t believe it.  emily wasn’t at the cook-out because she was in ohio for labor day with her family.  erik, who lived near virginia beach, wasn’t at the cookout because he was running in the rock ‘n roll half marathon in virginia beach.  he was always running in a race (mud races, 5Ks, 10Ks, half marathons), in fact, he ran the rock ‘n roll the year before.  erik was fit as a fiddle, in great shape, good looking, and only 23.  he died of a heart attack at mile marker 13.

erik was nothing short of amazing.  he volunteered, he had a great job, he loved his family more than anything in the world, he was the best brother and friend anyone could ask for.

i spent new year’s eve 2009 with erik, his girlfriend karla, emily and nate, and a few other friends… it was a tough night for me, and erik made it tolerable.  he called me about a week beforehand and said, “hey, what are you doing for new year’s?” when i told him i had no plans he was appalled and said “okay, let’s have a party at your house!”  it took some coaxing but he talked me into it and it ended up being one of the better new year’s celebrations i’ve had… thanks to him.

losing him was the biggest shock of my life; and never, have i ever been so sad, ever.

i’ve decided that i’m going to make 2010 the best year of my life, and i’m going to do it by living like erik did… selflessly, free-spirited, and adventurously.  i’ve decided to list a few things i know erik would want all of us to do this year…

  1. Follow My Heart - Erik did what he wanted, when he wanted.  He never passed up a great opportunity, and made every possible memory he could… I’m learning to do this, but still have a little ways to go.  I’m going to love who I want, do what I want, and live the way I want to.  After all, we’re only here once so I may as well make the most of it.
  2. Drink a Little More – Erik loved his alcohol, loved his friends, and loved mixing the two.  I don’t go out as much as I should, I don’t socialize as much as I could, and I don’t let loose nearly as often as I’d like; so I’m vowing to change that in 2010.
  3. Keep in Better Touch with People – Especially after losing Erik, keeping in touch is paramount.  Nate and Emily are in Germany (the Army made them move there), Karla is in school at William and Mary, Mike is in Law School at Penn State, Brittany is in Richmond and getting married in October, Emily and I don’t live together anymore and both coach and work… it’s just important to always take a minute to stop, think, and tell people you care about them; catch up and enjoy friendships.
  4. Make Family More of a Priority – Erik was 100% dedicated to his family.  They were everything to him and I think that is honorable and admirable.  I’m going to strive to be more like him in that respect.  I adore my family, and they’re only half an hour away (or just a phone call or email), and the truth of it is that I really should be making more of an effort.  My parents are moving out-of-state in Fall 2010, and I need to take advantage of them being so close while they still are.  A 30 minute drive sure beats a 12 hour road trip.
  5. Give Back – Erik volunteered, and genuinely cared about others.  If nothing else, I plan on making a donation in Erik’s name to our home chapter of Alpha Kappa Psi… and volunteering as much as I can.
  6. Be Successful – Erik always strived for perfection.  He got a great job right out of school and didn’t settle for anything less than awesome.  I want to be successful in my blogging efforts; I want my website to be awesome so people keep coming back, so they book mark me; eventually I want to have enough traffic to justify selling ad space.  I just want to make 2010 a successful year… and success is what you want it to be, it’s what you make of it.
  7. Stay Healthy – Erik always worked out.  Whether it was dancing at a “rave” (read: party at his house with techno music, glow sticks, and no lights on), going to the gym, going on a run… he always made sure to keep himself in impeccable shape.  I slack when it comes to my health, and I need to stop.  My goal is to participate in the Rock ‘n Roll Half Marathon on September 5, 2010.  I’m going to do it in Erik’s honor.  Even if I have to walk it… I’m going to do it.  Hold me to it.  This is important.  I need to eat better, train, and spend less time sitting on my ass.
  8. Have Fun – I promise to enjoy 2010.  I’m going to enjoy it and think of Erik every day.

While most of all that relates specifically to my life, everyone can do the same thing – the bottom line is that the beginning of the year is a great time to grab your life by the balls and live it the way you should… the way you want to.  Live it the way that makes you happy.

What do you plan to make of 2010?